Just a week after Valentine’s Day, we’re facing a very different occasion – it’s National Break-Up Day on February 21.
However, if you’ve recently gone through a split, relationship and break-up coach Paige Moyce has some essential tips to help you navigate this difficult time.
Sharing her wisdom on TikTok, she highlighted the “absolute worst things” to do post-break-up. “I say this to all my clients – in an emotional rollercoaster,” Paige began. “One minute you’re up, and the next you can be down and completely numb. But I’m here to tell you the things you should not do.”
Avoid a ‘rebound’
Paige strongly advises against jumping into a new relationship too quickly. “The number one thing to do is stay away from rebound relationships – normally for the first eight weeks,” she insists.
According to Paige, during this period, you’re prone to attaching yourself to someone new because they bring positivity into your life. However, she cautions that this isn’t beneficial in the long run as healing requires time alone.
Measuring your healing
Paige also suggests not to set a timeline for your recovery. “You shouldn’t be saying to yourself, ‘It’s been two months – I should be over it now’,” she explains, indicating that healing doesn’t adhere to a strict schedule. “There is no time limit on healing.”
She continued: “The first part of time after a break-up, you’re not actually healing, you’re just starting to see things clearly and that can be really painful.” Paige also stressed the importance of being “patient with yourself” and giving yourself time and stopping putting any “time constraints” on yourself.
Don’t go back
“Thirdly, please don’t go back to your ex just because you miss their presence or you miss them,” Paige insisted. “You need to give yourself at least eight weeks of no contact before you’re going to be able to think clearly on whether you ever want them back.”
She also advised against returning to an ex during moments of vulnerability, saying, “Whilst it might seem very easy to go back during that period – your brain may try and tell you it’s the right thing as it’s your ‘comfort zone’ – Paige assures you that ‘change and growth definitely doesn’t happen in our comfort zone.'”.
She wrapped up her guidance by adding, “So give yourself that time and don’t let loneliness trick you into believing that you need to go back there. You left for a reason. Remember that reason.”
The advice clearly struck a chord with the TikTok community, with Paige’s video raking in more than 4.2 million views. Emotions ran high as viewers opened up about their own heartaches in the comments. One of those gratefully responded: “Thank you, just broke up. You are helping me so much.”
A second shared their immediate struggle: “I just got dumped. Been crying for hours and finally decided to type in ‘break-up healing’ and found this. I REALLY needed to hear this. Thank you.” A third person opened up about their struggle, admitting: “Took me eight weeks to stop constantly checking my phone for his calls/messages. Six months on and I’m still dealing with the trauma but getting there.”
Meanwhile, a fourth expressed gratitude towards Paige, saying: “I needed this thank you, I’m about three weeks into no contact with a guy I love, but he wasn’t good for me.”
For emotional support, you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.